Marigold Willa, The First Year

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY GOLDIE GIRL!

How does one get down all the feelings about your baby entering toddlerhood? Honestly not an easy task. It seems impossible to me that you could be turning one already, but here we are cruising through this milestone faster than I can keep up! As usual! I’m going to do my best to get my feelings down for you baby girl!

You came into this world the same way you live your life, with gusto and determination! Your birth story is one for the books and now that I know you outside the womb, it makes a ton more sense! You, my love, were two whole weeks early, and flew into this world quicker than I could even realize what was really happening! And at a whole 8lbs 2oz! (Thanks for coming early 🤪!)

Here are some sweet moments in slideshow format! Photographs and Slideshow by Carly at Capture Life Photography & Doula Services

When I went to bed on May 14, I had no inkling you’d be joining us just a few short hours later in the very beginning of May 15th, just the same old Braxton Hicks I had been feeling for awhile. They call what happened “precipitous birth”, but the word precipitous means “done suddenly and without careful consideration.” I don’t think that’s quite the right term. Now that I know you, whatever the word may be, the definition should read “done with rapid determination.” Your conception, your birth, lifting your head, crawling, fast crawling, standing, first steps, walking, FAST walking, everything, just everything, you have done with rapid determination. Faster than I can keep up with mentally! You are my own personal marathon!

I have always thought and felt that your brother is an old soul and you are a new soul! You live your life with no time to waste so far and seem to have very little fear attached to your movements. You are so curious and want to keep up with your brother, so I guess it shouldn’t surprise me at all that you have hit baby milestones faster!

About your entrance into the world: When I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, things started happening so fast that my denial over what you were signaling to my body was so deep that even though I called the midwife and she said she’s be on her way, I kept thinking there’s no way this could possibly be it! It’s too early. It’s the middle of the night. It’s storming outside. This wasn’t the plan! But you know what they say about making plans!

Not even an hour after I woke up, you came into this world at 2:56am into my own hands, assisted by your Dada and Auntie Kim! It was just the 4 of us (well Oskar was in his crib across the hall, so 5 of us)! The midwives and doula arrived soon after and all was well. Did you plan it that way, Goldie girl? I think you did.

I put you on my chest and Auntie Kim covered you with a blanket (well pillow case at first because it was the first thing she grabbed on such quick notice! Haha), and you cried almost immediately. I didn’t have a single moment of fear after you were born even though the midwife hadn’t arrived yet, which is surprising to me how I could have been that calm. But I was. I must have been channeling your spirit and energy because it’s not like me to not have nerves! I think you gave that to me because you knew I would need it!

If there would be a motto for you it would be “let’s do this thing!!!” I have to constantly remind myself to stop saying “Careful Goldie” when you try to climb things or “slow down” when you’re walking so fast I’m afraid you’ll go flying and bonk your head (because it has happened). Anyway, I know letting you figure things out (with supervision) is important to you. You’ve got things to do, people to see, and life to explore!

I am writing this on the eve of your birthday and the emotions are high. I’m an old softy. You knew that. Tonight I took photos of you and me in the bathroom after you had your bath and we put on your PJs. Just you and me on your last night of being a baby. Even though you and Oskar will always be my babies. Toddlerhood comes with its own sweetness and its own struggles, but babyhood is just so so so sweet, despite any struggles. I can’t believe how fast this year seems to have flown. Isn’t that what they always say? I will always remember your tiny little hands and their amazingly tight little grip when we feed you your bottle. How soft your hair is against my chest when we snuggle (when you let me snuggle). How sweet and mischievous your smile is with your cute little dimples! You’re one of a kind, Goldie!

Your first day on this Earth is a day I will never forget. Birth story aside, I felt like I was living a dream that day. You were so small and perfect. A very good sized babe for only 38weeks, yet so so so tiny. When your Auntie Kim brought your brother into the room to meet you, I think my heart melted and grew 5 sizes all at the same time. And talk about a shock – all of a sudden your brother seemed SO BIG! Funny how that is! The midwives, our Doula, Dada, Nana, Oskar, and especially Auntie Kim took very good care of us! Brought us (me) food in bed, made sure I was resting and getting all the skin to skin! Auntie Kim made me the best smoothies too! We also had lots of help when it was time to take our first healing herbs bath. We added extra dried marigolds, of course. We got you all cleaned up, and in your first outfit. Then, I took a little bit of time to take a few newborn photos of you. We laid in bed for hours and I just stared at you. A marvelous magical little thing with dimples like your brother (and Nana) and a full head of dark hair (which is now coming in light!). The following day, we took you out into the sunlight and walked around the backyard for a little “walk” and so you could feel the breeze and hear the birds! As expected it was hard for me to sleep in the beginning weeks because I am a nervous nelly and breastfeeding is challenging, but also because I just couldn’t stop staring at you and marveling about your existence.